Grab your heels and "Walk a Mile in My Shoes"

Tuesday, October 3rd


Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

Thank you for joining us its neighbors in need and ask us losing you know is with me today how laurel valley because or have some fun this one yes we are all walking together for we allow and Jamie Saunders is and from willow and will you are probably more familiar with the name. Alternatives for battered women right Jamie and strings in two years ago we switched it to me. This issue in 1917. But here we are and I'd had no longer reflected what we do very few Rex if rip responded to the term battered and and there's also and various forms of abuse. And we serve more than women. Did that do you feel just the name alternatives for battered women did it just encouraged that stigma. The incorrect statement that we some of us still have absolutely so at what I've been at willow now about five years and SATA during my first week I was actually inner core program on the Holland justice and when I was in there there was a woman. Who was waiting to file for an order of protection and she was very visibly beaten you would look and say this woman had wrongdoers some of the worst of the worst if and when I was sitting at her we were talking and she has been going on for years. But she didn't realize or recognize herself as being battered and she actually said to me this is pretty hunting she said. I didn't know I was battered enough. To come to for services alone as a right there we knew we had to change the name let alone I've also had male survivors who won gentlemen whose wife was very physically abusive and he wouldn't. Hit back it was just not something you don't do those who have not supposed to and so he denied and he said your name. Humiliate me. And it was such an in unintended very air for us and so we had incredible people in this community has stepped up. I'll retook a very long time timing came up with willow. Because well I'm laughing alana abilities. The willows are very flexible they bend but don't break spoon and a single branch from the willow tree can follow and an entirely new tree can grow. So we went more for symbolism for the strength of ours that I exercise their resiliency. Again G anyway OK so so under this canopy of of willow. The protective canopy will what are some of the services that you guys actually. Offered to men and women teens anyone who is experiencing some form of domestic trial. The first protective canopy of willow I have never heard and that was fantastic colonies that here for. Yeah. So you're immune unless I. He'll then say yeah do you like. Oil out of a sense that all around it's in spending this way and I think Zack Greer an Iranian death so what we have I hired a 24 hour hotline which is 222 safe SA FEE we respond to more than 5000 calls a year for help. Backing range from I don't know what I have there's a relationship to the ten year old boy in a closet doesn't know what to do because of his parents. Two. A neighbor who says I'm hearing this what should I do I'll. So that's our our hotline were mostly known for our shelter which answers 500 people a year. Allison are 49 bed emergency shelter and we just moved into a beautiful new buildings mean a million dollar project this community rallied for not individualized. Bed the big bedrooms with little kitchen that it's more like a hotel who have families to feel safe and respected in hunting mini I'm their own bathrooms which is doing. But so most of our clients come through our counseling center which is one on one counseling and support and we ate support groups a week. So those are community members and I must say you know half of our clients come. From the suburbs and half are from the city moon so to remove that sick mind that this is just in certain neighborhood or just for certain individuals we needed deep bond pit. It is an all forms of relationships that you can think of including our kids. Are you enjoying the walk in you guys have been doing this walks turn out quite some time now tenth anniversary wow I've now I. As and it's going to be at the B agent Daniel beach park I am way news show lap and I encourage you chairman Scott and I will be there and Chris tiny will be there is now walking in our shares a lot of guys show up and yells you have to deal. But something fun. And we bond together. She just. Right there cool shows up is it is a great example of who this a Faxon impacts it is everybody. It's I mean. Men women. You're right suburbs the city everybody's little kids who may get it still breaks my heart that little girl who'd. Was there last year and she had assured with her mom's face on my walk for my mom who's. No longer with us today because. So back to she down and onions under those team we love you Sarah and Sarah. I was that little girl's mom mom was murdered by a by the dad I'm honest and when she was going back to her house to clear her belongings to leave him. And that is when. The greatest risk it is indeed has that abusers losing their power and control. And some of the things you guys are furry is that debt. Protection to give out the safest way to get out the orders of protection yes and yeah. Or which again there is an effective tool that we have an iron or or lost system our legal system. But the abuser is B don't pay attention to laws in a pay attention to rules which there is a segment that do not only. That it's can feel like a piece of paper so we work around safety planning with the individual and how can we best support you how could make a plan. That could include a variety of changing up your patterns if you Wii shop at this way mishap at the different line you know all the different ways that we can help support. As well as with the child snow that team we Levy Sarah's the largest team her family comes out and that's important meeting them out. A victim horse who have domestic violence back just that one person right so lets me out little girl. She does have that shirt of the picture for my mind and says I missed my mommy and the back in always gets me every year. Anything about what's her future look like and and she was there when that happened and what does her life look like as she grows and we know that this is a learned behavior than abuse and that's you know right now I've got 34 kids and are sheltered. And I'm thinking. Those kids have a higher chance science tells me a higher chance of fire there being a victim or perpetrator when they grow. So how do we as a community rally around them and support them and for the site. I don't let me again. Either steps to implement its. Things in schools because they feel like sometimes the behavior of these kids. It screams there's something wrong at home. You know kids don't wake up in the morning be like how can I torture my friend today. So when you see this behavior at school is your Annie weighed that the school can intervene or how should you intervene when you see the signs are ranked. Darren and something unhealthy as happens great question we all have to be more upstream. And the really we talk about your first responders and our Frontline it really is the teachers the neighbors the pediatrician and that's where the individuals spend their lives and can you like bacon and let down or to share their information and indeed there. Willow is in every single school district. We are on sites but it's maybe once or twice a year but at least it's a start no mention is that is grossly underfunded right now but trying to work both way the school administrators Heidi recognize the signs I asked the questions when nobody wants to talk about it there's such stigma. Let alone to say that something bad is happening in my house in England I say it where you go all. Went to save it also that that really that should be part of Ferrer. Aimed to be expected to be hard to recognize the signs I mean you we April eLearning it's only schools every single day for twelve years you know. That is a very big part of their responsibility but Owens burns that home but we've got to have this. If the teacher came up Ximian let's say there's something unhealthy happening behind closed doors with my husband. And it Dijjer approach to me your son I can see signs that there's something unhealthy. I won't admit that in fear of being shamed and in fear of what my husband's gonna do once he finds out the schools inner meaning. Exactly right civil judgment canyon it's a fight or flight right we all have that. You know in terms of any reaction so even just coming to say your kid did I think something's going on your case you get right into that mode adds needed defensiveness alert fear or any yeah so how do we approach a situation where we kind of you know we're on the outside giant out we are and it's the same as the help of friends which is the hardest part and I would imagine since you're successful people you're very in Taipei like we need is not a solvent help in six and and actually in days and we working with someone who's suffering from domestic violence. But the worst thing we can do is say you need to leave or you need to take in all the essential tenancy and natural once it's so hard the most powerful thing we can say when we're alone of the person not affront to embarrass or harm is just say. I'm concerned about you. And I'm here if you ever need anything. And another thing to say can be what do you need to be safe for. And just supporting you put it in their court. Did you imagine year in this power and control relationship where my a in a partner is telling me what to do telling me like any friends with controls my money threatens to hurt me or physically harmed as means. And have the people my support network also tell me what to do. I'm Charles while makes me feel power it just occurs and how do we let them not how to we let them know bear the experts. And that is that the million dollar question why doesn't she lever he leave. There's so many reasons why they downs and it's not just the four letter word of love. There could be children and can be finances there's the unknown race all of those pieces are complex. Now are the the walk is coming up on October 14 right but 9 o'clock. 10 o'clock walk yeah we started ten signs hammer and nine through ten this is a lot of this is this is what I would have been hearing is why we need to raise money and get the mean if you can only go to schools once twice here than we need to get more funding to get into your 46 times a year. And given to me health classes and and get in front of the kids found remains but the funny part is if you go to their your web citi's willow center and why dots. Board Morgan. Then you could senate because started team we can get all your friends or all your coworkers together and you know get a team together and come out to the Iraq I mean it's one mile. It's one my Alley where goofy shoes high heels and sports teams we love having with more high school are coming out this year in college. You know tear pertaining to talk about it early and often. About healthy relationships so we wanna stop these are the abuse we can have healthy relationships we can have unhealthy we're talking mad dangers how do we know when there's a dangerous relationship. And the Locke is our fun event it is family friendly I bring my kids remembering an instance there Palin and it's just add a great time is very uplifting. They love to see the police chiefs there in the fire chiefs and these goofy you know as fire chief McFadden from Brighton treated he wore his entire. Gear a firefighting gear which is at a higher pounds. And he created these wedge heels like him actually win the wood in his wood shop that would seal hottest fire firemen bother us up up up so that people really create an up and son's death a Kodak photo opportunity or was he was but that you but the goal in them through laughter and through fine. To really shows survivors we support to we stand with you and then I had. Around and it is in very emotional for them to see. All of us there for them. Okay arm and your number that you called attention to save number yes. If you see there Essex violence and didn't seem to messy rounds that you just seat you're like I don't know these people but there's something going on isn't something also. It is so that's always the question had the bystander and so if you're on the street and it's a stranger and there's fight or argument there's nothing that's stopping you from calling nine on one break her right some support. It is always a risk to intervene into a physical altercations we don't know especially in this day and age in climate. Of what's happening. We talk about a lot as predicament college campuses about not being a bystander that being at a standard. When you're with other college students and you might see that some on you know has is not even able to make their own decisions after being at a party. And then you stand up and NB a standard post your friends as well us meaning the stranger they might be taking harms you wanna make sure. That we are recognizing behavior apps Sanders also to. Intervene when there's a joke that's really not appropriate and that can seem like a stake in the mine but when we allow this had to happen. At the works at the water cooler I will guarantee survivors are listening to you so if you are the surround yourself for your hearing it. And we allow the jokes to happen allows having an NFL. Allows happening on TV or movie or. I think it is amazing I mean the job by men and people still feel appropriate to tell me a joke. About battered women and it's just not okay and how to say you know I realize you don't you're not aware of this man that joke. Made me think of this woman who I just saw this morning with their black yeah yeah like it's green yeah so an upstanding behavior is really could you know really cutting that type of behavior. Because the more we joke about it though. The less survivors feel that they're able to seek safety and who wants. Learn the wants to make management. Ring that holds domestic violence. Oh awareness higher that's why you are here that's why we're alone is here and former alternatives for better measure set up and one we were doing it is we're gonna get out and do that walk a mile. Those heels that you brought to today are scaring me. Those doors we'll let Robert Trent let's have a look at leather for patent leather and what's nice you must be at least three inch heels or a I don't think anybody's guess our I don't know. Got ten and a half soon after your team got though because these gases and out in those heels. And I hear a studio out for us support the cause support domestic violence it is domestic violence awareness month so all month long and carried over. And just be aware start the conversation. Heavier kids listen to this this episode so baking kind as. Recognize you know what is a healthy relationship not healthy relationship. A lot of great information on your website as well. And let's say it again and then just the details about the long Wal-Mart time to time place great so I I would say we do have tools of how to start a conversation with your teen or under are your colleague your friends and went to deuce and that's willow center and why that ORG. That's also we can sign on for the walk a mile in my shoes and mentally just. Saturday October 14 individuals and and some. And individuals and teams and you can also just gives if you leave your lazy like you and she's like me right well you can support me had a team says that she's all the chiefs or router and other money though rose yet. Not reality if you really incredible because any dollar any donation really goes a long way for us to be able to Venus and survivor who needs them wonderful thank you so much thank you both have you really raise awareness and it's really incredibly show up every ME ST October 14 out of Ontario beach park and.